...an Easter Bunny
8am – Urgh, woke up in a slightly compromising situation this morning. The location was Santa’s backroom wedged between Mother Nature and the Tooth Fairy. Now I’m not normally into inter-species ‘relations’ but in my twisted state last night, I thought why not? Turns out that was a bad idea…it wasn‘t a pretty affair especially minus the beer goggles. *shudders* I fucking blame Santa for this shit, I told him last night that that second ‘special’ Easter egg wasn‘t good for me, but I’m a lightweight what can I say and he throws bad-ass partayyys.
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When you moved into your ‘dahling’ little student hovel, things couldn’t be better. You covered your wall in pictures of your friends, threw your authentic Gap Yah scarf on the bed and played Ring of Fire until 4 in the morning with your jazzy new housemates. However, the honeymoon period is over and you’ve found yourself observing these other creatures co-habiting with you in your house with a sense of bewildered confusion. Why must they cook fish heads in the kitchen? How has your cheese mysteriously gained bite marks since the last time you had some? Do they really have to make that snuffling grunting noise until three in the morning when their girlfriend comes to stay? However much we think we know someone, their habits and routines remain a mystery to us until we start sharing a roof with them. And boy, do we wish we had known they liked to do THAT before we moved in. Let’s face it, people are like animals and should therefore be categorised and treated like such. The View therefore invites you to peruse through our zoological guide and identify the beasts that you’ve found yourself caged up with.
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