Still Hanging

So you managed to get through the evening without having to take a T.C. or Tactical Chunder for those who aren't familiar, but you still feel as rough as a badger’s arse and you really have to make it to your 9am lecture. Most people would agree that you need plenty of water and a couple of Neurofen. But we reckon this lacks imagination and vigor required for the extremes of the standard Oxford Fresher’s hangover. So here are some tips that may, or may not, help you to power on through…

Virgin Mary

Take a glass of Tomato Juice,
Add squeeze of lemon,
A few drops of Worcester Sauce,
A teeny dribble of Tobasco,
Tsp of Horseradish,
Salt and plenty of Black Pepper,
& stir with a celery stick.
You can alter amounts. But I’d recommend, that for full effect, you make it strong enough to blow your balls off!

Baked Canary and Cabbage Leaves

Is just as it says. An old favourite of the Ancient Greeks, and the equivalent to our full English brekkie.
WARNING: Consuming of pets is generally frowned upon, and illegal in the U.K. So maybe just stick to the cabbage for now.

What Makes You Bad, Makes You Better

Why not start your day by simply having another strong bevvie? It’s true, this will just delay the inevitable, but lets face it, it’s way more fun, your lectures will seem that bit more entertaining and come on, you’ll only ever be young once. Amen to that!

Prarie Oyster

Break a whole raw egg into a glass.
Add a couple of teaspoons of Worcester Sauce with Salt and Pepper, perhaps wih lemon juice or vinegar if you fancy.
Then chug it!!
(Being careful not to pop the yolk)
(n.b. not suitable for the pregnant or elderly.)

Lemon Wedge

This one comes from Puerto Rica. Try putting a big wedge of lemon in your armpit for a while before you even start drinking. This helps to stop you losing precious water, and will hopefully stop you getting a stonking headache.

And if you do have to run out of your lecture half way through to vomit, fear not. You’re not the first, and you certainly won’t be the last. Now go have fun and get smashed!

Eleanor Hatch-Robertson